When going to school I always felt bad about myself for my family not being wealthy. Did we starve? No. Did we lived on the street? No. Did we ran around naked? No. My grandfather even owned a lake near our house, where we all lived, but we somehow believed that we need a pool. We had apples growing in our garden - we were told oranges are better. Better meaning what we have is not good enough, therefore what we have is shit and it doesn’t satisfy us. So I’ve been very unhappy, because thought we were poor. But actually we weren’t. Why I thought so?
People say, I NEED TO DO THAT, NEED TO HAVE THIS - then I’ll be happy. Really? Do you need or you want? You are the one who creates the need. I used to said, actually, very recently, “I NEED TO DRAW TO SURVIVE”. Or “I would die if I won’t be able to draw.”
As I repeat something with such assurance for a long time - of course it will happen that I won’t be able to live without it. Because I created a problem where it wasn't . I was born and I’ve already been complete. While growing all those ideas of unnecessary needs were created, I need that - so I can feel better about myself. By so I somehow were persuaded that I’m not complete, that I was missing something very essential, that without something additional - I’m not good enough. That I need to improve myself to be good. That I need things to “improve my life quality”. It’s such a powerful mechanism, that after a while it gets somehow impossible to see that it’s not truth at all.
“Stop the earth - i want to step out!”
Earth doesn’t need to be stopped for you to stop running blindly.
Yesterday my mom was in a hurry for the funeral and was stressing out that she’s late. I said “ Well, if that lady is dead, she can wait 5 min, doesn’t she?” She was like “You don’t understand, what people will think about me?“
There are always OTHERS.
Always looking at neighbor's yard, always thinking that grass is greener on the other side. Is it? What is the price other pay for that seemingly greener grass? That was never the question, since we only tend to see the very surface, just the results, just other so called wins.
“Oh, maybe I will be depressed but I cry on my yacht” We secretly enjoy the role of a victim.
We enjoy it so much we place ourselves into situations where we can torture ourselves. And others admire that, “Well done, great job”, while we are feeling dead inside. And we keep on filling that void and it never seems enough.
Life is so interesting that you can actually be Mother Teresa and Hitler at the same time. “If you die - they win.” “I need to play dirty, I need to infiltrate into rotten system in order to change it.” Always finding the way to justify our actions.
Simple example of how we are in charge.
Another day a friend asked me about what to do, how to stop drinking, what with she can “replace alcohol”. “What is the trick?” I said well, it’s of course not easy at all. You just need not to put it in your mouth and not to swallow it.
The same with all the weight loss. “Oh maybe there's a cure, need some pills, guru, program” etc. Really? Who swallows stuff? Who is in charge of swallowing all the shit that is coming to you? It's not your genes, not your traumatic past, not your spouse and not your boss, it’s you.
But you can say - WAIT, I’m not gonna eat this shit. I refuse to play this game.
To be honest. Nobody cares if you don't come to the party. There’s actually all kind of parties all around. Why you want to go to only ONE KIND of parties? Why you limit yourself? You don’t know what kind of other parties? Did you tried to find out?
You are not your job, you are not your relationships , to be honest you are NOT the sum of 5-6 people that surrounds you, as there’s a common belief. Why you create this false belief system for yourself which leads to constant competition, feeling “not good enough”, feeling incomplete and which enables self - punishment mechanism?
“I’m not good enough for this job”. So why you do it? Why you do something that you don’t feel like you do the best? “Oh, it's considered to be good position”. Considered by who? Others? “No no I think it’s great. Because it’s such a great thing, everybody would kill for it.” Everybody. Still comparing yourself to other people. And what you want to do? “Ugh, I don’t know.” People are even afraid to dream about what they actually wanna do. “Maybe sit at the lake and fish. that would be nice, BUT IT’S NOT A JOB, I NEED JOB TO SURVIVE!”. Says who? Really, would you die without your job? Are you chained to the place where you are now? Can’t you just stop and walk away from it ? “People will think I’m stupid, I had such a great job and now I’m just nothing, I’m just some loser... fishing”. Do you hear yourself? We are traumatized so much by “what other will think” we are ashamed of our most natural and pure wishes, our natural will.
“Oh you need so much courage to do what you want to do...”
What makes you think you don’t have THAT courage? :People will say that I lost this job so I am a loser”. Again, people say. People say a lot of things, people say a lot of shit, they don’t know shit actually. Who knows? You. You REALLY KNOW THAT YOU CAN SURVIVE. And moreover, you can not only survive but live your full potential doing what you want. Always ask yourself, “Why am I doing this? Because I really want or I’m afraid what others will think? Am I fulfilling my real will or just acting the role created for me by my environment and pressure of others?” This is what Sartre calls “Hell is other people”.
You know what is the great answer to question but “what others will think”?
COULDN’T CARE LESS.
As you will start questioning your actions you'll see how much stuff you do because you’re only afraid not to be called “weird, crazy, loser” and other stupid words society might throw at you.
Guess who laughs the last? You’ll laugh fishing at the lake eating apples from your garden. And those, who’ll stay in their own created slavery will say: “Ugh, this is actually amazing life you have, I wish I could do this, but I can't I have a job to do”.
Do you? All goes back to the beginning.
“Ugh, everybody can't be free. Who will sweep the streets?”
Now think, which person will clean the street better: the one who HAS TO DO IT or the one who WANTS TO? Wants, because a healthy human being does not enjoy living in filth. We go and clean around ourselves - the same could be applied for the bigger picture.
We trust others' experience so much that it disables us to live our lives normally. “My friends lost his job and his life turned to hell, I'm smarter, I won’t let this happen, I will stick with my hated job with teeth and nails”. Are you your friend? Maybe your friend was lazy alcoholic dick who waited to be saved and did nothing to help himself? Of course can’t even dare to think that. "IT’S MY FRIEND! HOW CAN I THINK ABOUT HIM/HER BAD, WHAT FRIEND THAT WOULD MAKE ME?“ Bla bla bla. So don’t think about him/her as your friend. Look at him/her as any other human being. Do you still think all his/her actions are cool? He/her didn’t deserve what he/she has? He/she doesn’t drink too much? Etc. Some people just waiting a lucky lottery ticket to fall from heaven into their hands. What they possibly did to deserve it? Leave your friends to deal with their stuff. You are you. You know you can take care of yourself.
Try this, for a week, every time you hear somebody saying “YOU NEED … “ - just say: I DON’T NEED IT. Don’t accept their idea that you are not complete and that you need something. Do you really need new super expensive car? Do you really need that new weird diet? Do you really need to buy a flat? To find a girlfriend? To give birth to 456 kids?
All capitalism and consumerism is based on creating artificial needs and brainwashing us that we are in a constant need for something. You know what - I DON’T NEED A SHIT, I have everything. Then they scream: “LAST MINUTE! LAST CHANCE! YOU GONNA REGRET IF NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THIS DISCOUNT”. They use all system of smart words to affect the thinking : “Omg, I really need this and I need this now!” Then we come back home with a bag full of rubbish and think: “Hm, what just happened. Did I really needed this stuff?” We kick it under the table and go buy more stuff. We go work more so we can buy more stuff. We get up in the morning, hate everything around, work, buy shit, fuck, drink to forget about it and then we die. Yes.
But only because we choose to live this way.
Won’t fit all examples of our everyday excuses in one essay and I don’t need to. Why I write? I just woke up and could do million other things. Is somebody paying me to write? No. What I want to do is just to share some life’s hacking tips with my friends. Because after a while I noticed that they are coming to me with the same and same problems. And I was giving them books, and talking and stuff, but not all people can take a book, read it and do it alone. Some need support. Because we are so used to it. To get a tap on the shoulder. We do not trust our intuition on what is wrong or right. So it's a bit easier to have somebody to talk with. And it’s not for me they are starting questioning their life choices. It’s because they are tired of being slaves. Tired to be depressed. Tired of same and same shit again. And now when my friend writes me complaining again about her job I have nothing to say but - QUIT. Seriously, how long you want to play victim? Nobody cares if you work there or not, you are not irreplaceable. Live for yourself. Next day she wrote “Actually I like my work, I even brought home more work to do, I’m tired but gonna work 2 more hours before sleep.” And I have nothing more to say but: “As you wish, dear”. Bury yourself in your work, as the ostrich buries its head in the sand, so you don’t have to listen what your Self is telling you. I can’t help you as you don’t want to help yourself.
What is that secret? What is that “contemporary alchemy”?
It’s all about NOT GAINING, but it’s all about SAVING.
Seeing potential where other don’t expect to look. This is just creative attitude towards life, we can call it more fancy, we can call it magick. What the difference between magician and entrepreneur?
“Unite and empower” instead of “divide and conquer”.
Why people bankrupt?
Because of the thought: “How to trick everyone and win?”
Of course, people can hide their wish to be rich as fuck (which they associate with being better than others, since money is the demonstration of external power when you’re feeling lost of control of your inner realm).
Example what usually happens:
“I’m here to help people” - “I’m snorting coke while hanging with my cousin on my yacht.”
“I hate to see all this social inequality” - tweeting while kinda feeling sick of eating too much oysters.
It’s like, dude, it doesn’t work that way. People say they work (and overwork) for good, greater meanings while all they do is working to satisfy their lower/ego needs.
Even if you’re doing well and destiny is plotting with you, and you use this “green light tunnel” right, there's still (always) a temptation around the corner. “Maybe I can skip one step and give a job I need to do to other, so I can chill a bit.” Looks like working - few moments later, even more work hits you like boomerang to the back of the head. You had your chance, do what you need to do, be grateful for opportunity and work it out yourself.
And in bigger waters you swim - the more paybacks comes to you. The greater price you pay. But, you have a chance to swim in big waters and enjoy it if you play nice, if not - sharks will come after you. They always do. Don’t act hero if all you want to do is to satisfy your very own needs.
There’s always gonna be a lesson - don’t even try to think you are better than anyone else.
You worked like a horse and built an empire, you felt you deserve every penny and bam - some gypsies fake the car accident and you need to pay enormous amount of money and you feel punished? Think about how much you got attached to your wealth. You enjoyed it, you deserved it, well guess what - you focused on this to much. It will be taken from you so you can wake up and MAYBE start questioning yourself, is it the really most important thing in life? And if you dont - you will fail again and again till you finally will. Or just die. Lol.
“But I only do this for my children,” Boo hoo ho, seriously your kid couldn’t grow up without Iphone 5? I grew up playing with rocks and wooden stick, now being 26 and feeling fine, thanks. Do you really think that these things make a kid happier/smarter/(whatever your justification is)?
While bending your back and working in 8 different jobs, saying “I do this for the family” do you really think that family needs that?
Your stressed out tired face, empty seat at the dinner table and missed kids school’s play? Guess again.
“I need to do this, it's my job, I do it to survive”, “I need to work for two.”
So many my friends voluntarily moved to the most expensive cities of the world, New York, London, Los Angeles. What I hear from them is only whining about how they have no time for nothing, how job sucks, rent is enormous, their bosses are dickheads etc. So why you’re doing this to yourself?
“So I can achieve something in my life.” Why? “Well, I will feel good about myself then”. So you don’t feel good about yourself now? “Ugh, I dunno, people will respect me more”, so it’s clear that in order to have your happiness you need some approval from others?
“Hey, look, I’m rich and famous, are you jealous :P Here’s a photo of me and ma bae shooting rhinos” How insecure and broken inside you need to be to behave like this? And still, you need approval from the people you actually despise - in this case, less achieve, less wealthy people.
You think Kardashians or Miley Cyrus are your stalkers liking your photos of your new cars or horses or whatever? Actually might be your schoolmate, who you never felt like talking to, but somehow it pleases you when she/he likes your photo, for you it's like a revenge - “Look, you see, I’ve always been better than you, na na na na , you’re poor - I’m in Bahamas”.
It’s such a tricky game and we all get involved and lost in it once in awhile.
It’s like cobweb, you don’t see it till it gets very onto your face.
Be rich by not spending. See resources all around you.
Why you create wishes of which you become the slave to yourself?
Living in a beautiful countryside, for example, in a normal house with garden. “I don’t have a pool. I saw people on TV have pools, I don't have a pool, shit, I need a pool”. This is what media does. Plants these thoughts into our heads. And there’s a lake like literally 5 min from your home. “Ugh, that lake sucks”. You know what - your attitude sucks.
People are travelling far to the lands they don’t know. They say: "Because there I can be what I really am!” Seriously? What are the obstacles of being who you really are like, here, now in this room? “Ugh, it's not the same, not that exotic”.
The best kind of slave is the one who agrees to be a slave.
The ones who utilize the resources around them and turns “shit into gold” are called “lucky”. “Ah, probably his parents gave him shit loads of money for his business”, “Oh, probably that girl slept with all the men to get all the way up to the top”. ”It can't be that simple, must be something hidden.” “For me it will never be that good, all around is shit and not working”.
What about NO. Who planted these ideas in your head? You wake up in the morning and look around and it’s all fresh. You slept, restarted your system, you can start from the very beginning.
“I need to go to work”. Do you? What will possibly happen if you would say - FUCK IT. Are you gonna immediately die from starvation while pissed yourself lying on the pavement? Well if you keep on acting victim - I’m sure you can succeed in that, yes. But while you’re locked into your own created slavery there no possible way you can feel happy. "Slave needs to set himself free. If somebody does it for him - he won't know what to do with that freedom. There need to be the inner wish to be free first." - my uncle Rimvydas once said.
Friend’s band been touring around Europe and had car accident in most expensive country - Switzerland. Poor people. NOT. They were constantly posting on Fb about their tour and mostly being extremely judgmental. Saying audience in one town was "shit" , in other “not that bad”, also, adding some grateful words but to sum up, they were saying: “We are much better than you , we are actually too good for you” .
Pride = you gonna loose. Money, friends, life, you can loose it all.
And I met Adam Jones from the band Tool, very nice, friendly and sincere person, who‘s attitude is really not “Oh I’m gonna show them! They gonna see - who I am!”, I can’t imagine him being in that state of mind, but he’s a music legend. So you CAN BE A LEGEND and not be a douche-bag? Crazy, isn’t . Lol.
“I’m gonna show them who I am!”, to whom you gonna show what? What kind of approvement you need to feel good about yourself? You don’t need nobody’s permission to feel good about yourself. Instead of it - just be. Don’t chase 5 minutes glory, because while you gonna chase it your life will pass and you’ll never catch it nor you’ll ever feel happy.
Why you want to postpone all the goodness by creating these obstacles Me here - happiness there.
“Everything is fine, just…” - need more money.
“Everything is good, but..” - have no time for <....>
"I'm very happy, just..." - need <...>
There are so many every day examples how people lose when they want to trick others. People are so creative in hiding their real intentions that sometimes you really believe they are victims, that “life is unfair” for them. But you can not fall for this trick. They get EXACTLY what they deserve. I get exactly what I deserve. And you, my friend.
And this is how it’s gonna be.
Are you going to PLAY FAIR or you want to PAY?
Don’t chase wealth. Don’t chase people. Don't chase love. Other’s won’t make you happy.
You have it all already. You are not a half of an apple. You are an apple.
“I fuck you, and I love you to love me to fuck you
But I don't fucking need you
Don't need you to need me to fuck you
If you need me to need you to fuck
That fucks everything up
La la la
La la la“
And the martyrdom is idealized in our society. Take example of bodybuilders. Such a hard work, 5 min of fame, and then repeat. We appreciate hard work because it makes us feel better about working in our usually shitty jobs like horses. “Everybody does it, I shouldn't complain, it’s not THAT BAD for me” But why you let yourself think that? Stop punishing yourself. Why you want to live “not bad life” when you can live VERY THE BEST life? NOW.
How the world would look like if everybody suddenly would quit their slaveries?
Well we’ll never know if we won’t try to find out.
“You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the woods
While you're hiding in the trees”
“Dude, you’re crazy”.
Yeah? Whatever you say, couldn’t care less.